Moderate FUD
When Bush was President all my liberal friends on Facebook constantly spammed my news feed with posts that had as their point, "Bush is (or will be) the downfall of America." Now that Obama has become President, all my conservative friends are filling my news feed with posts that say the exact same thing, with one minor difference, "Obama is (or will be) the downfall of America." This is why I've never taken to the liberal or conservative label, or the Democratic or Republican label -- I just don't care enough to spam my Facebook friends with FUD. Except for now. Now, I've found a cause worthy of a Facebook wall post. Moderates of the world unite!
What does it means to be a moderate, you ask? It means you have enough of both liberal and conservative friends that you can see how silly both sides look. Conservatives and liberals -- and here, I mean those of you who feel so strongly about that label that you have to post crap on the Internet to prove why you are the one who is correct -- you two are not that different from each other. You both want the other to wake up and become sensible and take up your obviously superior point of view. And if the other does not, then THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT WILL COME TO AN END (emphasis yours).
So let us moderates unite in our laissez-faire wall post attitude and say to our liberal and conservative friends alike that we are tired of your anti-socialist or anti-anti-socialist messages. You are our news feed terrorists pals, yet we still love you. But we refuse to take sides in online pissing matches. The reason you don't know it's a pissing match is because you only have friends of the same political persuasion. And moderate friends, who of course never speak up.
So here we are, we are not loud, we are not proud. Not usually, anyway. We want to be friends with both conservatives and liberals, with both liberals and conservatives (see you both got top billing there, now be quiet) because there's something about each of you we like. We refuse to choose sides, and we're not backing down! And yes, just this once we moderates should post to Facebook so our bi-partisan, fearful friends can see how silly they look. Indeed, I am posting this to Facebook now, feel free to join me in my honest mediocre dissent. Moderates unite! If we don't stop the world-as-we-know-it-will-end-tomorrow wall posts then the world as we know it will end tomorrow. I'm only writing this because I don't care, not because I care. I am not afraid, and you can't make me be afraid.
Seriously, I'm sorry to offend, but if your political perspective requires me to live in fear, I just can't join your movement. I will forever remain moderately unaffiliated.
Now, where is that "post to Facebook" link...
